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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116891">You Found Me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywardsistershy/pseuds/Waywardsistershy'>Waywardsistershy</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood and Injury, Co-Dependency, Drinking, Explicit Language, F/M, Fighting, Fluff, Gen, Grief, Implied Sexual Content, Loss, Other, Sexual Tension, mentions of character deaths</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,675</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28116891</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Waywardsistershy/pseuds/Waywardsistershy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>POST ENDGAME</p><p>Bucky lost a friend. You lost a sister. You both are alone and learn to live somewhat co-dependent on each other. Then you guys go on your first mission after Thanos.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James "Bucky" Barnes and Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky' Barnes &amp; Reader, james "bucky" barnes x reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>23</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You Found Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a bit long, so bare with me cause it’s very detailed since I wanted to portray/convey the Bucky that barley speaks and sees more with his eyes. He does speak when he needs to. I am also proud of this one too. I hope you all enjoy and I would love some feedback.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been four months since you lost your sister, Natasha, or as she was known to you, Natalia or Nat. The only person who kept you grounded and in check. You were still dealing with the emotions that came with it all, knowing full well she would probably kick your ass for wallowing in the grief. You knew why she did what she did. Fuck, you’d do the same exact thing to make sure Clint got home to his family. You couldn’t be pissed about it, but it didn’t hurt any less. You had a huge gaping hole in your chest and you weren’t sure how to fill it or if it would ever heal. That last part scared you the most. Would you feel this pain forever? </p><p>After the battle with Thanos and after Tony’s funeral, Pepper set the plan in motion to rebuild the compound. “It’s something Tony would have wanted,” she had told everyone. And everyone agreed. You included. That compound was your home and without it, you had no one and nowhere to go. </p><p>So you pulled together what money you had stashed away and went to the nearest motel. When  you arrived at the motel, you noticed a familiar face standing at the counter trying to convince the clerk to take his money for the week. But the problem is, he didn’t have enough money. </p><p>Taking a deep breath you pull the wad of cash out of your pocket and walk next to him and set it on the counter. “Two queens and make it a month.” The clerk goes to take both your guys cash but you stop them. “Uh-uh,” you pull Bucky’s cash back and slide it over to him. Without a word, he takes it back. The clerk takes your money and hands you both a key. </p><p>“You didn’t have to do that,” Bucky said when you guys got outside and began look for your room. “I could have figured something out.”</p><p>You stopped walking and turned to him. “No, but where else would you have gone? Like me, you don’t have anywhere else do go.” The two of stared at each other. Both your Y/E/C and his blue eyes seemed to have a battle of their own. But being a Romanov, you knew you would win that battle.</p><p>Bucky nodded, “Okay.”</p><p>And just like that, the two of you fell into a routine and an unexpected friendship. You were there when Bucky would wake up from an intense nightmare. Whether it was Hydra related or him waking up yelling out Steve Roger’s name. You would slip into the bed right next to him and hold him and help him through it. All the while, thinking about how his best friend in the entire world would just end up leaving him. Steve was your friend too, but his leaving didn’t affect you as much as it did Bucky. Night’s like that would make you shed a tear for him. You and Bucky were very similar. You both lost someone close to you. You both didn’t have anywhere else to go. You pretty much had no one but each other now. </p><p>Four months later, you guys were sharing a bed but weren’t intimate. You guys had gotten used to use sleeping next to each other that it was nearly impossible to fall asleep by yourselves. Bucky would run to the store and get food once a week, while you did both your guys laundry at the laundry mat around the corner. </p><p>The two of you knew each other’s flow of daily life. Bucky would go walking early in the morning and come back with a hot coffee for you. The first time he did that, he came back with the coffee, a handful of three different kinds of sugar packets, and two pockets full of the mini creamers. </p><p>“I didn’t know how you took your coffee,” He had said as you stared at the contents on the table. </p><p>Whenever you were out you always came back with food for the two of you. It could have been a pizza or Chinese take out. Either way, Bucky enjoyed it with you. If any of you had knots in either of your hair, one of you would help the other to get it out.</p><p>No matter what it was, you and Bucky were there for each other. And honestly, you were falling for the super soldier assassin who was too sweet on you. You were deathly scared to admit it out loud, but the thoughts just linger in the back of your mind.</p><p>Bucky waltzed into the motel room to see you lost in thought. He had your coffee in hand and set it slowly on the table. Bucky wondered what you were always thinking about when he saw you sitting on the bed with your knees drawn up to your chest. Your chin resting on your right knee. But he didn’t ask, he knew by the almost empty look in your eyes that you didn’t want to talk about. </p><p>These last four months has been the most stable for him. It was nice having someone there for him all the time. Not to mention someone who was willing to hold him through the nightmares of Hydra. He even was there when you would wake up crying for your lost sister. He wished he could take away that pain for you. </p><p>Bucky walked towards the bed you occupied and sat down next to you. He pulled you into his arms and leaned his back against the headboard. You turned in his grasp and placed an arm across his chest and the two of you just laid there. Listening to each others deep breaths and heartbeats. You guys could lay there for hours without a care in the world.</p><p>Then a knock on the door made you jump causing Bucky to tighten his arms around you. The knock came again. </p><p>“Agent Y/N? Sargent Barnes?” It’s Peppers voice. “I know you’re in there. I saw Barnes walk in there about twenty minutes ago. It’s not hard to miss a metal armed man.”</p><p>You pushed away from Bucky and walked towards the door and open it. There stood Pepper looking as gorgeous as ever. There were bags under her eyes so time hasn’t been good to her but she still wore that smile. The smile that hid the pain and sadness in her life.</p><p>“I have been looking everywhere for you two,” she said walking into the motel room. She looked around. “The two of you just disappeared before I could talk to you after Tony’s funeral,” Peppers voice almost broke saying the word funeral. “I was going to offer you two to stay with Morgan and me and other agents who didn’t have anywhere to go. But it looks like you guys held up well.”</p><p>You shifted on your feet and looked at Bucky who was now sitting at the foot of the bed. He was looking down at the floor with his hands folded together. “We didn’t know we. Sorry.” You said softly looking back at Pepper.</p><p>Pepper smiled and took your hand in hers. “Like I said, it looks like you two held up really well. I’m here to tell you, the living quarters of the compound are finished and you guys can move back in whenever you want to. I’ll actually be there later today.”</p><p>Pepper turned to leave but you held tighter to her hand. “Pepper? How are you doing?”</p><p>“I’m hanging in there, you know for Morgans sake,” Pepper answered as her smile cracked some. “Well, I should get going. I’ll see you both later?”</p><p>“Yes,” You said and watched Pepper walk out of the motel room. You felt so bad for Pepper. She lost her husband and the father of her child. That pain had to be bigger than loosing a sibling. You turned to see Bucky hand you your coffee. With a smile you took it out of his metal hand. The very hand that gave you some very impure thoughts. “Thank you,” you pressed the cup to your lips. </p><p>“I guess we should check out of this dump?” Bucky asked. </p><p>Within in the next hour, the two of you were turning the keys in and walking out of the motel for the last time. Bucky held the cab door open for you and making sure whatever belongings you guys owned were secured. Bucky could tell in your eyes you were excited. He’d only ever been in the compound when they captured him all those years ago, but he was willing to make it home. </p><p>When the two of you arrived at the compound you couldn’t hold the smile in. It was beautiful and it looked better than before. There was still work to be done on it, but what you were able to see made you want to cry. Bucky saw the overwhelming expression on your face and wrapped am arm around your shoulder.</p><p>“You going to be okay?” He asked softly and you nodded. </p><p>You guys found Pepper who showed you around. From the kitchen to the living room to the bedrooms. Pepper showed you your room and then Bucky’s room. His room sat across the hall from yours. As Bucky was looking at his room, Pepper pulled you to yours.</p><p>“I made sure you guys were close,” Pepper said moving a stray hair from your face. Probably out of habit and a motherly thing for her to do. “I could tell that you guys have taken care of each other and I’m sure that you guys had some sort of routine down. I wanted to make sure that you guys were still able to have some of that.” </p><p>You smiled and hugged Pepper tightly. “Thank you.” </p><p>And just like that, over the next month, you and Bucky fell into a new routine. You woke up when Bucky woke up and took morning walks with him. There was a coffee kart that sat on the corner of the street across from the compound. The coffee was so much better than the motel coffee you guys had been drinking. </p><p>Bucky late at night, after all the lights were turned out and other agents were in bed, he would sneak into your room. He knew you’d be awake but he was still quiet as he slipped into the warm bed next to you. Bucky would hear a soft sigh as you would turn in his arms and rest your head on his chest before falling into a deep sleep. </p><p>One day while you were tidying up the kitchen, Bucky came in from the gym. He would spend a couple hours a day in there to clear his mind. He sat down at the table as you placed a plate of food in front of him. </p><p>“Thanks, Doll,” He said taking his hand and rubbing your back. </p><p>Turning around with a small smile on your face, since you loved it when he called you doll, there stood both Agent Maria Hill and Bruce Banner. Bruce just stared at you, and the memory of you telling him years ago, that no one was good enough for you and who would want to spend their life with a trained assassin. Bruce who was the only other person on this person beside you and Clint to bring out Nat’s softer side. Agent Hill, also stared but has a small teasing smiling playing on the corner of her lips. You turned back around and slowly walked out of the kitchen letting Bucky know you’d be back. </p><p>You sat on your bed when you heard the knock on the door. You looked up and saw Bruce walk in.  “Don’t say anything,” You stood up and started to pull out a hoodie from your closet. </p><p>“I wasn’t going to say anything,” Bruce had a small smile on his face. “Except, since when do you own shirts that are too big for you?” He pointed to your bed. You turned to see Bucky’s shirt just laying there. You hadn’t realized that it was even there. </p><p>Over the last month Bucky sort of just moved into your room. His clothes had a drawer, he had a spot in your bathroom and two towels hung on your bathroom wall. Bucky even brought the pillows from his room to your bed. </p><p>“Okay,” You turn back to Bruce. “Bucky isn’t what it looks like. At least I don’t think so. It’s hard to tell. I like what he and I have. We just sort of found each other and have been there for each other when no one else was.” </p><p>Bruce’s face fell what looked like six stories. You could see the hurt. “Y/N/N,” He said softly. You forgot the sound of your nickname that Nat and Bruce use to call you. “I’m sorry I shut you out. I shouldn’t have.”</p><p>You shrugged on your hoodie, pushing down the memories of Nat. “Well, it happened. I don’t blame you. I would have done the same thing. I mean technically I did. It took four months for Pepper to find Bucky and me.” </p><p>Bruce nodded and scratched his head. “Well, you are pretty well versed in the art of falling off the radar.”</p><p>You cracked a smile. “Well, I didn’t intend to fall off the radar.”</p><p>“Like you didn’t intend to fall for Barnes?” Bruce must has seen the red creeping into your face. “I saw how you were smiling when he called doll. It’s the same face your sister had when she talked to me.”</p><p>You rolled your eyes and left the room. </p><p>Two week later, you and Bucky are crouched in a dark room. Guns pressed against your chests, being as quiet as you guys could be, as you guys waited for the all clear in the other room. This was your guys first mission since everything that happened almost six months ago.</p><p>Just a simple international rescue mission.</p><p>Or so you guys thought.</p><p>After the room had been quiet for ten minutes. Bucky cracked open the door and gave the thumb ups to you. The two of you creeped out of the room and started back towards where you started. You heard a sound to your right, and turned towards it. </p><p>“I’m going to check this out,” you tapped Bucky on the shoulder.</p><p>“What? No the fuck you’re not,” He said firmly.</p><p>“It’ll just be quick,” you called back to you as you walked down the darkened hallway. </p><p>“Be careful, Agent Romanov,” Agent Hill’s voice sounded in your ear piece. “Barnes, stay put unless you’re needed.”</p><p>You walked the darkened hallway and heard the sound again. It was louder. It was closer. Your heartbeat quickened as you walked further into the dark. You obviously had your light on your gun but it wasn’t bright enough. Something scarred passed your foot making your gasp out loud.</p><p>“You okay down there?” Bucky’s worried voice asked. You made the bad choice to ignore that question.  “Y/N?! Don’t make me come down there.”</p><p>“Stay put, Sargent Barnes,” Hills voice is firm in your ear that you took the ear piece off. Another bad move. </p><p>You walked ten more steps before being thrown into a wall. The back of your head smacked the concrete hard. You fell on your back and groaned. You got back to your feet and drew your knife. With what light you got from your fallen gun you charged the figure that attacked. You shoved him into the wall and drove your blade into his shoulder. In return, he head butted you and shoved you down on the ground. You watched in the faint light he pulled the blade out of his shoulder and knelt down. He straddled your waist and pinned your arms to your side with his knees. </p><p>With sick pleasure very visible in his eyes, he drove the blade into your forearm. You cried out as the sharp pain shot through you. When he pulled the blade out, you felt the warm rush of blood seep through your tactical suit and onto the cool floor. You watched as he rose the blade up with two hands right above your chest. You had two thoughts in the matter of three seconds.</p><p>Second one, you should have answered Bucky when he asked if you were okay. </p><p>Second two, you knew you should have told Bucky your true feelings and now it was pretty much too late. </p><p>Second three, your arms were suddenly free. </p><p>You scrambled to your feet and held tightly to your wounded arm. You watched as Bucky threw your assailant at the wall and stalked towards him slowly. The man tried to stab at Bucky, but Bucky grabbed his hand with his flesh hand and twisted it to the point you heard the crunching of his bones. With his metal hand, he held the neck of the man until you could hear the faint crack of the neck. </p><p>Bucky dropped the dead man on the ground and turned to you. You stood there, not a hint of fear in your eyes. He noticed the blood trickling through your fingers and walked to you as he ripped a piece of cloth from somewhere unknown. He gently moved your hand away from your arm and tightly tied the cloth around your arm. </p><p>Without breaking eye contact, he used his flesh hand to brush loose strands of hair out of your face and behind your ear. He let his hand slowly brush down to the base of your neck, where it lingered for a minute before he took the dangling ear piece and gently put it back in your ear. </p><p>“Barnes! Status update. Now.” Hills voice was firm.</p><p>“Situation is taken care of. Y/N will need medical attention though.” Bucky’s voice was hallow. You couldn’t tell what was going through his brain. Even his eyes were almost impossible to read. “We’re headed back your way.” Bucky took your uninjured arm and pulled you the rest of the way back to the chopper.</p><p>After you had been through medical and treated you headed back to your room. Bucky was sitting your room waiting for you. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his hand folded. When he looked up, you can could see the anger and concern in his eyes. </p><p>“Okay,” you closed the door and crossed your arms as you turned back to him. “Say it. Get it over with.” </p><p>After minutes of silence and staring each other down. Bucky finally spoke. “What you did was completely fucking stupid, you know that?” Bucky’s tone was firm. “You could have died.”<br/>
“What did I do that was so fucking stupid?” you dropped your arms, crossed the room and stood three feet from him. The tone in your voice matched the firmness in Bucky’s. “Was it me ignoring you? How about ripping my ear piece out? Or maybe, almost getting stabbed in the heart?”</p><p>Bucky stood up. “All of it Y/N,” His voice rose and it continued to rise. “Do you have any idea how scared I was when you didn’t answer back? Do you know that my heart just about stopped when I heard you cry out and saw that dick over you with a blade about ready to plunge it into your chest?”</p><p>“It’s not your job to worry about me Bucky,” Your voice rose too. “My decisions on missions are mine and mine alone. So what if I died? It wouldn’t have mattered.”</p><p>Before you knew it, Bucky’s hands were pinning your arms to your side. “It would have mattered to me, Y/N. You’re so fucking smart, Doll, but god you are so blind to whats right in front of you.” </p><p>“Bucky,” you whispered.</p><p>Bucky dropped his hand and turned back to the bed and sat down. When he looked back up at you, he had just about every emotion glassed over his blue eyes. “I could have lost you, too. Does that mean anything to you?”</p><p>You didn’t know what to say to him, you read in between the lines. You know what he was saying. You took a deep breath and walked towards him. You placed a hand on the side of Bucky’s face. He closed his eyes and leaned into your hand. You dropped your hand to the collar of his shirt and decide to straddle his lap, resting both legs on either side of him on the bed. </p><p>Bucky’s eyes opened and he looked into yours, as he did, his hands instinctively moved to your hips and held you firmly in place. “Y/N?” Bucky’s voice caught in his throat. </p><p>You shushed him softly, and met his eyes. You took both of your hands and held his face. “You mean the world to me, James Barnes.” You said softly using his first name. Then you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. </p><p>Your guys lips moved together perfectly. You felt his tongue on your lips and your let him in. He explored every part of your mouth as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. You pulled back for some air and smiled at Bucky who was already smiling at you. </p><p>This was perfect, you thought. This was everything you actually had hoped it to be. In the next second, you found yourself on your back. Bucky hovered above you. He had your arm pinned above your head with his metal hand, you ignored the small ache in your bandaged arm. With his free hand, and without taking his eyes off yours, Bucky slowly trailed it from your face to your hips. leaving goosebumps on your both bare and clothed skin. </p><p>“You’re my world, Doll,” Bucky said leaning closer to you face. “You found me at my lowest. I wouldn’t know how to live if you died.” </p><p>Then he pressed his lips harder and rougher to yours.</p>
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